The Value of Death- Intellectual Suicidal Inquiry (CW)

When someone goes through the process of enrolling in counseling services, the question is always asked.  

“Are you experiencing any suicidal thoughts?”  

From my experience within the mental health system, and through my education in psychology, I know that this must be answered carefully. Typically, I just say no. Generally, they ask if you have a plan for suicide, or access to any weapons that may be used for self-harm. My answer to that is unequivocally “no”, but the thoughts… they still linger.  

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Today I Wrote

Today I wrote something beautiful. I was filled with inspiration, and the perfect words flowed from my fingertips, like honey on a sunny day. My heart did not pound with existential dread, wondering when I would be struck with a creative spark. I did not pace or fidget. I did not curl up into a blanket and question if my writing was worth anything at all. I did not feel my temples pulsate with angst or yearning. I did not feel the quiver of my breath while sighing in defeat, oh no.

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And Your Blood Will Turn Into Gold

“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.” – William H. Gass

My first book is a collection of poetry, illustrations, paintings, and blurbs relating to a journey through trauma, addiction, and recovery. The ideas in these poems are not exclusive to me, the author. The majority of these pieces are relatable to anyone who has struggled with heartache, grief, or substance abuse. 

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